Anger – how to deal with it

3 Dec

imagesCA010G6QAnger can be a really helpful emotion at times, it can motivate you to take action, it can protect you from harm and it can help you to get your message across loud and clear.

The problem is that some people use their anger to try mask their pain. They use it to push people away and protect themselves from feeling hurt or vulnerable. As time goes on, anger can become less and less helpful and it can prevent you from moving forward in your life.

Underneath most anger is hurt, fear or a sense of powerlessness. These emotions might come from the injustices you feel you have experienced in your  life, it could be from the people who were meant to love and protect you but didn’t or it might stem from losing something or someone really  important to you. Young people who have been through abuse, have lost loved ones or are in foster care are especially angry.

The anger, at times, can feel so overwhelming that you become scared that you have no control over it. Some people are scared to see a counsellor because they are concerned they will attack or yell and scream at the counsellor. You have far more control over your anger than you think you do.

I bet you felt so angry once you wanted to beat on someone, you wanted to yell and scream or do something stupid but something inside you prevented you from doing it yeah? Unlike the Hulk you do have something inside you that stops you. Start practicing to use that part of yourself more and more.

And by the way counsellors are trained to handle angry clients. Tell the counsellor about your anger before you make an appointment with them and ask them how they can help you stay in control incase you lose it in the session. The counsellor can help set up coping strategies to help you release your anger in a safer way.

There is a reason why you are angry. Anger let’s us know that something is wrong and it needs to be sorted. Your anger is letting you know something so it might be time to start listening to it and find out what it is needing in order for you to feel better and move forward.

Start taking control back with these helpful outlets:

Remove yourself from the situation

So your really pissed off and about to start an argument, try step back and get out of there before you explode. Go for a walk or run untill you start feeling clearer in the head.

Deep breathing

Something happened and it really fucked you off, before you go into fight mode, focus on your breathing. Breath in through your nose slowly and exhale slowly through your mouth, keep it up until you feel your body relaxing.

Write shit down cos it helps

It’s really helpful for when you feel pissed off to open up a word document and start typing out your frustration. It doesn’t have to make sense, catch whatever thoughts come through your head even if its just a string of swear words over what it is your feeling angry about. Don’t stop typing until you feel your anger subside a bit.

Scream or tear

If your anger feels out of control grab your pillow and scream into it, it’s a pretty awesome tension remover. You could also try tearing up a magazine or beating the crap out of your pillow.

Get physical

If you feel you have pent up anger go run your heart out, lift weights, take up boxing or kickboxing, do jump rope. Excercise is a really good release for tension, anxiety or anger.

Sometimes you will find that once you express and release your anger you feel really worn out or feel like crying your eyes out. You might have a painful hurt feeling rise up inside you. This is the true cause of your anger, it’s been hiding beneath the anger and now it wants to also be heard. Listen to what it has to say, acknowledge it and when your ready start considering talking about it with someone you trust.

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One Response to “Anger – how to deal with it”


  1. Thought for the day: Anger « From the Red Room - December 7, 2012

    […] Anger in all its Angry Angriness: Are you fucked off all the time? ( […]

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